Post by Jim on May 25, 2009 16:06:58 GMT -5
Protect yourself from false abuse allegations for
By David Usher | May 24, 2009
The story of the cab driver in Edmonton, Canada, whose life was saved by a dashcam video recording of some girls who made a false rape allegation against him, is no different than what is done to men every day in divorce courts. Men are frequently falsely accused of spouse abuse, child abuse, and other atrocities in divorce, custody, and visitation situations.
We do not take this on sitting down ever again. Technology is on our side now. You can protect yourself for as little as $20, and have a good quality date-stamped video recording of any situation using a covert USB pen digital video camera. Just keep it in your shirt pocket and turn it on anytime you need it.
If you are experiencing conflict in any relationship, (marital or otherwise) you must protect yourself. Keep the camera in your pocket and nonchalantly turn it on when you sense a situation developing.
Pen cameras are also invaluable for other purposes. You can protect yourself from abuses often committed by officials. You can easily document interviews with social services child abuse investigators, and interaction between yourself and caseworkers during supervised visitation sessions. When they lie, they will pay for it.
Those who do protests must document their every move. When you meet with public officials, it is wise to document every face-to-face meeting. I have seen men’s advocates accused of serious crimes they did not commit after meeting privately with legislators and other public officials. Unbelievable admissions of wrongdoing or insolence are sometimes made by public officials when you are meeting with them behind closed doors. When you put it on Youtube — you have checkmated them.
If you are involved in an auto accident, videos made immediately of tiremarks, location of vehicles, damage to the vehicles, admissions made by the other person, and their disposition and sobriety are the best way to prove fault later. You can save yourself a lot of money by proving complete innocence.
I am a lifelong electronics geek, and took the time to find a few of the best deals on pen cameras. Here are links to a few inexpensive ones that produce PC-compatible AVI files, make good covert video and sound recordings, take pictures, and run for two or three hours without recharging the internal Li-on battery. Of course, you need a computer to load the videos to.
· 2 GB pen cam, rechargeable, 352×288 resolution, $20.
· 4 GB pen cam, rechargeable, 352×288 resolution, $29.
· 4 GB pen cam, rechargeable, 352×288 resolution, $30.
· 4 GB pen cam, rechargeable, 640×480 resolution, $37.
· 4 GB pen cam, rechargeable, 640×480 resolution, also works in low light conditions and has webcam functionality, $59.
These devices appear to be nicely designed and well suited for covert, instantaneous activation. Most of them are available from other sources but at often much higher prices. I have not actually purchased any of them. If you purchase one, please leave a comment so others can benefit from your experience.
For courtroom use, portable playback in meetings, or for proving abuses to the media, you might also need a small personal media player (PMP), which the above website also sells very inexpensively. If you get one, I recommend purchasing one that accepts an SD card so you are not limited by the memory on the PMP.
Use: I strongly recommend not letting anyone know that you have a pen camera or are making the recordings — especially the person(s) you wish to document, relatives, and your children. Word gets around. Once it is known you have a pen camera or may be recording, the person will cover their tracks find other ways to make your life miserable. Most importantly, you never want to put the kids in the middle of adult problems.
Note: I am not an attorney and cannot speak to legal issues regarding covert recordings. Nothing in this article should be construed as being legal advice. I do believe that federal law does permit covert recording of you personal interactions as long as it is not for purpose of blackmail or some other defined illegal activity (make sure it is off when you go in the rest room or going up escalators)! States are permitted to enact more restrictive regulations, so you should ask your attorney before making recordings. For various reasons, you should not put recordings of your estranging spouse on Youtube, unless there is exceptional reason (which should be cleared with your attorney). Never put videos of your children on Youtube under any circumstances — that is the fastest way to get cut off from your children.
If it is legal to do so, have your pen cam in your pocket to document interactions in the hallway outside the courtroom (never in the courtroom). Always clear this with your attorney, and give the pen cam to him or a trusty relative or friend in the hallway before entering the courtroom.
Hearings are very emotional events. Spouses often let their guard down in conversations before or after hearings. They are likely to make damning off-the-cuff statements in the hallway, the elevators, and standing in front of the courthouse. You would be surprised how easy it is to get your estranging partner to make admissions of guilt if you are reasonable, friendly, play “stupid”, and do your best to strike up a friendly conversation with them. A good method to evoke an admission is to nonchalantly say “Remember when you said [blah] …. I’m not sure I understood what you meant”. This tends to make the other person replay and reassert a magnified admission of dishonesty made in a prior undocumented conversation right in front of you and your trusty pen cam. Documentation of interactions outside the courtroom also prevents opposition from making false claims you were abusive or threatening in the hallway.
For example: Those who make false allegations often feel terrible about taking advantage of you. They will often make confidential admissions to assuage their guilty feelings just before or after hearings. If your hearing is about a domestic violence charge, and you sadly mention how much the whole affair is destroying you, and she might well say “We both know you didn’t really hit me — I just want you to give me sole custody”. You now have nearly irrefutable evidence that the allegation was made for tortious and contemnable purpose.
Too often in divorce, men either lay down like slaves before Pharoah, or worse, pursue an angry offensive campaign in response. Both approaches are recipes for disaster. The old saying “the best defense is a good offense” is ruinously backwards for men in divorce courts. For us, “the best offense is a good defense”. Your little pen camera is your high-tech equalizer and suit of armor. Wear it all the time, demurely, as if the rest of your life depends on it.
I recommend that men’s organizations give a pen cam to each new member with their dues and have them available at meetings for purchase by existing members. You might have to raise your dues a bit, but it is well worth it to give new members that are freaking out something to protect themselves with. The biggest problem in support group work is getting new members to stop going nuts and start working their case intelligently. When your group starts seeing improvements in individual case outcomes, the group esteem will increase substantially. Attorneys will love your organization because the majority of serious “client management” problems will go away naturally.
____________ _________ _____
David R. Usher is President of the ACFC Missouri Coalition
© 2009, David R. Usher
By David Usher | May 24, 2009
The story of the cab driver in Edmonton, Canada, whose life was saved by a dashcam video recording of some girls who made a false rape allegation against him, is no different than what is done to men every day in divorce courts. Men are frequently falsely accused of spouse abuse, child abuse, and other atrocities in divorce, custody, and visitation situations.
We do not take this on sitting down ever again. Technology is on our side now. You can protect yourself for as little as $20, and have a good quality date-stamped video recording of any situation using a covert USB pen digital video camera. Just keep it in your shirt pocket and turn it on anytime you need it.
If you are experiencing conflict in any relationship, (marital or otherwise) you must protect yourself. Keep the camera in your pocket and nonchalantly turn it on when you sense a situation developing.
Pen cameras are also invaluable for other purposes. You can protect yourself from abuses often committed by officials. You can easily document interviews with social services child abuse investigators, and interaction between yourself and caseworkers during supervised visitation sessions. When they lie, they will pay for it.
Those who do protests must document their every move. When you meet with public officials, it is wise to document every face-to-face meeting. I have seen men’s advocates accused of serious crimes they did not commit after meeting privately with legislators and other public officials. Unbelievable admissions of wrongdoing or insolence are sometimes made by public officials when you are meeting with them behind closed doors. When you put it on Youtube — you have checkmated them.
If you are involved in an auto accident, videos made immediately of tiremarks, location of vehicles, damage to the vehicles, admissions made by the other person, and their disposition and sobriety are the best way to prove fault later. You can save yourself a lot of money by proving complete innocence.
I am a lifelong electronics geek, and took the time to find a few of the best deals on pen cameras. Here are links to a few inexpensive ones that produce PC-compatible AVI files, make good covert video and sound recordings, take pictures, and run for two or three hours without recharging the internal Li-on battery. Of course, you need a computer to load the videos to.
· 2 GB pen cam, rechargeable, 352×288 resolution, $20.
· 4 GB pen cam, rechargeable, 352×288 resolution, $29.
· 4 GB pen cam, rechargeable, 352×288 resolution, $30.
· 4 GB pen cam, rechargeable, 640×480 resolution, $37.
· 4 GB pen cam, rechargeable, 640×480 resolution, also works in low light conditions and has webcam functionality, $59.
These devices appear to be nicely designed and well suited for covert, instantaneous activation. Most of them are available from other sources but at often much higher prices. I have not actually purchased any of them. If you purchase one, please leave a comment so others can benefit from your experience.
For courtroom use, portable playback in meetings, or for proving abuses to the media, you might also need a small personal media player (PMP), which the above website also sells very inexpensively. If you get one, I recommend purchasing one that accepts an SD card so you are not limited by the memory on the PMP.
Use: I strongly recommend not letting anyone know that you have a pen camera or are making the recordings — especially the person(s) you wish to document, relatives, and your children. Word gets around. Once it is known you have a pen camera or may be recording, the person will cover their tracks find other ways to make your life miserable. Most importantly, you never want to put the kids in the middle of adult problems.
Note: I am not an attorney and cannot speak to legal issues regarding covert recordings. Nothing in this article should be construed as being legal advice. I do believe that federal law does permit covert recording of you personal interactions as long as it is not for purpose of blackmail or some other defined illegal activity (make sure it is off when you go in the rest room or going up escalators)! States are permitted to enact more restrictive regulations, so you should ask your attorney before making recordings. For various reasons, you should not put recordings of your estranging spouse on Youtube, unless there is exceptional reason (which should be cleared with your attorney). Never put videos of your children on Youtube under any circumstances — that is the fastest way to get cut off from your children.
If it is legal to do so, have your pen cam in your pocket to document interactions in the hallway outside the courtroom (never in the courtroom). Always clear this with your attorney, and give the pen cam to him or a trusty relative or friend in the hallway before entering the courtroom.
Hearings are very emotional events. Spouses often let their guard down in conversations before or after hearings. They are likely to make damning off-the-cuff statements in the hallway, the elevators, and standing in front of the courthouse. You would be surprised how easy it is to get your estranging partner to make admissions of guilt if you are reasonable, friendly, play “stupid”, and do your best to strike up a friendly conversation with them. A good method to evoke an admission is to nonchalantly say “Remember when you said [blah] …. I’m not sure I understood what you meant”. This tends to make the other person replay and reassert a magnified admission of dishonesty made in a prior undocumented conversation right in front of you and your trusty pen cam. Documentation of interactions outside the courtroom also prevents opposition from making false claims you were abusive or threatening in the hallway.
For example: Those who make false allegations often feel terrible about taking advantage of you. They will often make confidential admissions to assuage their guilty feelings just before or after hearings. If your hearing is about a domestic violence charge, and you sadly mention how much the whole affair is destroying you, and she might well say “We both know you didn’t really hit me — I just want you to give me sole custody”. You now have nearly irrefutable evidence that the allegation was made for tortious and contemnable purpose.
Too often in divorce, men either lay down like slaves before Pharoah, or worse, pursue an angry offensive campaign in response. Both approaches are recipes for disaster. The old saying “the best defense is a good offense” is ruinously backwards for men in divorce courts. For us, “the best offense is a good defense”. Your little pen camera is your high-tech equalizer and suit of armor. Wear it all the time, demurely, as if the rest of your life depends on it.
I recommend that men’s organizations give a pen cam to each new member with their dues and have them available at meetings for purchase by existing members. You might have to raise your dues a bit, but it is well worth it to give new members that are freaking out something to protect themselves with. The biggest problem in support group work is getting new members to stop going nuts and start working their case intelligently. When your group starts seeing improvements in individual case outcomes, the group esteem will increase substantially. Attorneys will love your organization because the majority of serious “client management” problems will go away naturally.
____________ _________ _____
David R. Usher is President of the ACFC Missouri Coalition
© 2009, David R. Usher
