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Post by personalchef2 on Apr 26, 2010 15:01:59 GMT -5
I'm currently going through a divorce and my wife now states that are 2 year old may possibly not be mine. On top of that I have been raising her twins for the last 3 years and they think I'm there dad. She is using the kids against me and refuses to let me see my children even though she says I can any time. It was all fine and good as long as I was paying the way and getting her what she wanted but not that shes busted its screw me.She feels I'm not entitled to any asset from our marriage cause I left her. Everything I have worked for for the last 3 years is gone. She has managed to go through 12,000 in less than 2 months while I was in a treatment program for acholism. My child support is currently almost 900 a month with my prior wife and now with her it could possible reach over 1000. I have taken an entry level job so that I could have some income coming in but after my child support and taxes my check was 64.98. Yes thats right. I have no problem in paying my child support but who defends my rights to see my children when there mothers constantly move around and jump from state to state living off the system which by the way I have to pay that back to. They lie about there income to receive benefits and then I'm stuck paying the crap back. Its impossible to hire an attorney when I can barely feed myself and legal aid wont help because there are kids involved but they will help the woman. I'm so sick of woman being able to play the victim in all this and in the meantime I have to sit in prison or be homeless just to pay my child support and don't even get to see me kids. I know there has got to be a way for me to fine the help I desperately need. I live in Arkansas but my child support is being enforced in Oklahoma and there mothers don't even live there. If anyone has any suggestions I'm all ears...
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Post by Harrison on Apr 29, 2010 10:20:46 GMT -5
You do have rights! The hard part is enforcing them. It's hard to give an opinion without all the facts, but there are some basics. In the state that is issuing the divorce learn the familly law you can usually find a link at the legislature home page and state court precedent there as well. Documentation is another very important key, write down every dirty little thing she pulls date and time, a date book or journal works well. If she is committing fraud, USE IT! Most departments have a form for records request ask the clerk to sign it and then a copy for your records, if it's for court they can't Deni it. As far as court when she files anything you should get copies with time to respond (varies by state), DO NOT let this go the judge doesn't care what you have to say if it's not on paper. You'll need 4 copies of everything you submit, original-court, 1 copy to her, 1 copy-judge and your copy, don't forget the case number on them all. Proper paper work can be found at your states court web site. FRAMED also has a wealth of info. at this site and there are men's groups around the country, hopefully one near you. Oh yeah, DNA is a powerful tool and can work either way. If we can be of more help let us know
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Post by Jim on Apr 30, 2010 9:22:55 GMT -5
This is such a horrible and sad situation, and also so damn common it is really pathetic the people of this nation allows this crap to happen.
I agree with Harrison, Learning the ropes and how to do these filings yourself is the best way to go as most attorneys will only do the basic and most ineffective things that they can and most likely drag things out.
Finding a support group of parental rights advocates near you is the utmost of importance, they will also be familiar with the states procedures and code, which in turn will speed up the learning process for you.
As Harrison states, not knowing your history and what orders are already in place, it is hard for us to speculate on strategy and or legal options. You must do all you can though to stay out of jail, because in there you cannot manuever much in the legal system to fight back.....this is where they want you and they do not give a damn about you or your children, its all about money and control. I'm sure you already know this as you sound quite aware of what they are doing to you and your children.
It's basically domestically controlled kidnapping supported by the state and gov't, with a bit of unconstitutional terroristic extortion and forced slavery being done to you and our "great" country allows this abuse towards its people.
If there is anything that we may be able to help you with, we will surely try, you are your best defense and offense, you must learn all you can QUICKLY to protect yourself against some of these unconstitutional attacks and abuse towards you and your children.
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Post by personalchef2 on Apr 30, 2010 15:52:14 GMT -5
Ok this is personal chef again. I have orders to pay child support in both texas and washington but they are being enforced in oklahoma which by the way i no longer live there. Since my posting i have taken on another full time job just to make ends meet. I have to walk an hour to work and an hour home when i cant find a ride cause they have my licence too. I take the bus when I can but its just doesnt run after 6pm. Now im being told i have to goto court on may 7th and may 17th for my new suport case with my soon to be x-wife who went down monday and filed a protection order on me because i wanted to come get my car and personal belongings. In no way have i threatned her and feel disgusted that are system would grant that just because she says i did something which is not true. I have no history of domistic battery and its just a way to denie me once again to my children and property. Yes I can goto court and fight all this but just trying to figutre out where to start on top of working 80 hours a week with no transportation is taking its toll. Im not getting dicouraged but feel like just throwing in the towel at times. Im just so lost in what im suppose to do. I live in fayetteville arkansas so if anyone can locate an advocate group here for me that would be a great place for me to start. I really appreciate the support im getting from everyone here it truly means a lot. Thanks so much everyone
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Post by Harrison on Apr 30, 2010 18:36:54 GMT -5
pc2, Don't get down, it's the easiest mistake to make. I've had custody for a decade and a half and Washington state's DCS (dept. of child support) has run the hole game on me to the point of jail. When the prosecuting attorney found out what is happening they've left me alone, but still turned a blind eye to what DCS is doing. There fore I live pretty much under ground, but don't run away!!!! and this is why.... YOU HAVE DONE NOTHING WRONG!!! and your opponent thinks they have you on the the run, this is a huge tactical advantage. First if I'm not mistaken when a civil R/o is filed in most states, if not all, criminal charges are mandatorily filed (isn't that just the kicker)So bottom line you are being charge with a crime of the domestic violence type. That sounds as bad as it is because you get to defend your self twice for the same accusation. In the civil matter you'll need to get on line and get the proper form, in WA it's called a declaration, at the top is called the heading file it out so it's the same as your paper work. Then go through her papers, address each allegation in a simple straight forward manor (the judge doesn't care if it hurt your feelings). The point of this hearing is to put you 51% in the wrong, but it doesn't hurt to mention her illegal activity after shooting down her false accusations like clay pigeons on a hot Aug. day. Any evidence that helps is a must, proof that you just weren't there etc. remember it won't count if it ain't in ink!!! On to the the criminal side, make no mistakes your miranda rights do apply, an attorney will be appointed to you because you can not afford one.(sounds good) But 99% of the time they are so over worked, if there were a half dozen of each, it would be damn hard to do that job, and a lot just go a long to get a long. So use the help, but they will be more willing to help you if you can help them. That said, I must point out that the first domestic violence charge usually is a misdemeanor or gross misdemeanor, but under most states new laws a second infraction can easily become a felony. So stand by your rights, if she doesn't show for the trial, they loose. US supreme court '04 (I think), any way you have the right to cross examination, 14th amendment? So wind down, think, make a plan, FALLOW THROUGH!!! If during this HELL process she contacts you, she has broken the court order, for god sake get the proof of any phone record, video etc. And don't fall for the come and see the kids or get your stuff. I look for some help in your area. paper works a bitch with puppies.
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Post by Jim on Apr 30, 2010 20:04:51 GMT -5
PC2, you need to get the states codes on what exactly constitutes domestic violence in the state which this RO has been filed in. They have to prove that you violated code/statute and committed an act of domestic violence, thus violating code. You will get a hearing date within 30 days (if I'm correct) for this temp RO to be heard and the judge will determine if a permanant RO will be issued. You need to go in there fully prepared even if you don't have an attorney to put on the record that in no way did you violate state law and commit any act of domestic/family violance and that the ex is using this as a strategy to keep you from your property and away from your child. (EMPHASIZE your child being separated from you). The most important thing though is getting it on the record that they can not prove you violated state code and committed an act of family violence. Make damn sure there is a court reporter there too recording this. The child support thing is a whole dfferent BS game and they will try to rape you for all they can get out of you, you better have all your financial records with you and get this put on the RECORDED record too so you can file for an appeal if the do not follow the states guidelines to determine CS. Yes this is a mess and you will be fighting constantly like the rest of us, unless of course the ex totally screws up and losses custody...... Just don't let them think they can walk all over you and show them you will fight back and that you are not legally ignorant.....you need to start crash coursing in state laws that relate to your case. I know its going to be tough considering your working all the time, but you do not really have a choice if you want to lessen the damage that they are about to hammer you with....
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