Post by stepmonsternot on Jun 19, 2012 16:31:16 GMT -5
This email was sent from my Husband's ex-wife's husband. How do you deal with such vileness and poison?
My step children are now ADULTS and they still continue to harass us! Please help us.
From: andrew.e.conaway@accenture.com
Subject: RE: Hawaii portal
Date: June 10, 2012 7:35:50 PM EDT
To: gdfetters100@me.com
Glenn, et al:
You admonished Deb not to contact you again but you didn't say anything about me. I just read through the email train and I am, as usual, amazed at your histrionic behavior. I'm not trying to be insulting, your behavior is genuinely histrionic. Deb's initial email to you was to tell you to stop trying to access the UH portal with David's password. It was terribly inconvenient to have to reset it. There are two points here. The first is that, since you declined to provide any financial data to support your son, I had to provide mine. Since you are in no way, shape or form allowed access to my personal information, we did not want to take the chance that you may somehow gain access to this highly personal and privileged data. This was by no means an attack on you, an attempt to limit your access to your son or a show of "craziness", merely Deb's attempt to protect me. The second point is that none of us are permitted to use David's user ID or password to access any website whether it is the UH or the federal financial aid website. It's that simple. This is a situation of your own making with appropriate consequences. I'm sorry you failed to understand this as you resorted to drama, insults and a rather interesting rant decrying your obligation to pay child support to support your son. Deb has provided you with all the information necessary and numerous other options to pay your obligation to UH. You simply don't need access to the portal.
So now, if you are done insulting my wife and ranting about your obligations and lack of relationship with your sons, it's now my turn .......
Glenn Fetters, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for the opportunity you have given me to raise your sons. At every turn, I have treated them as my own and raised them to have a sense of loyalty, respect, open-mindedness, diligence, perseverance, fairness, courage, morality and love. Under my guidance and example they have grown from very young boys to fine young men. The results speak for themselves. You mentioned, yet again, parental alienation. I believe you tried that in court and not even the judge wanted to hear it. Your sons were raised to love and respect you but you were never able to grasp this simple truth and the complexities of the adolescent mind. Deb tried to help and both encouraged them to be with you and encouraged you to be with them but you preferred not to. In your simple, plebian brain you saw this as Deb's attempt to "control" you. These are the documented facts and they are not disputable. You have tried in the past and failed. Everything Deb has done has been for the benefit of the boys and she always understood that having a good relationship with you was to their benefit. You and your emotionally unstable wife have been the only roadblocks in your way. I offered on two occasions years ago to meet with you over a beer to discuss how we could work together to raise your sons. You, sadly but predictably, declined. Since I know your sons better than you do, I offer again to meet with you to give you what might be a useful point of view of how to now rebuild your relationship with your boys. I am telling you now, in all honesty and sincerity, that you will not be successful on your own. Time is not on your side as you claim and you will not persevere. This is due to the simple fact that you are too selfish and emotionally incompetent to realize that any alienation of your sons is your doing and not Deb's. The only impediment larger than you yourself is your wife. Your sons themselves have tried to explain this to you but, again predictably, you refused to listen. It is not within you to accept responsibility. You are your own worst enemy and are the one that should be on medication. Until you admit this simple truth you will fail miserably. Even now, as you read this, you are cursing me and will accept no responsibility for your situation. Ultimately, you will have brief periods where you will feel your relationship is improving with your sons but ultimately you, or your wife, will sabotage it and seek to blame somebody else. Years from now you will die frustrated, bitter and alone and the fault is completely, totally and demonstrably yours. Like an alcoholic, no recovery is responsible until you admit your failings. But then you should know about that too, shouldn't you. You also know, deep down, that your wife, Amy, stands between you and your boys. You will deny it, of course, but you can't hide the truth forever. I believe she is emotionally classifiable as a "borderline" so she profits emotionally from keeping you separated. You are far better off without her. You should speak to your sons about their feelings for her and what has motivated them but I'm sure she won't allow it.
Allow me to provide an illustration. One of the proudest moments of my life was pinning Airborne wings on Robby last summer. When I became a paratrooper, my father pinned his wings on me. He had engraved our names and class dates on the back of the wings that he had been presented so many years before. My nephew graduated Airborne School a few years ago and went on to distinguished service with the 82d Airborne Division in Iraq and Afghanistan. I added his name and date to the wings when I pinned them on him. Unfortunately, when Robby graduated, I couldn't just take the wings back from my nephew. Further, the wings made today are stamped from a pewter/silver allow which cannot be engraved. I solved the problem by having a regulation set of Airborne wings cast in solid silver and then engraved with my father's, mine and Robby's names and dates on the back (there is room for future generations to be added as well). I was certainly pleased to see your father at the graduation ceremony. Robby was happy to see him standing next to me as I pinned his wings on him during the portion of the ceremony devoted to legacy paratroopers. Robby is officially third-generation. He is part of a fraternity of blood, sweat, courage and devotion to duty that those outside of the military will never understand. Robby invited you to come but you didn't. Your father did and that was good, but it was no substitute for you. This was one of those once-in-a-lifetime opportunities that would allow you to start the rebuilding process and you missed it. I'm sure you had an excuse, as you always have. You had the opportunity to live close to your sons when you moved to Atlanta ten years ago, but you chose the north side of town for the social life. It then became too inconvenient for you to travel to the south side of town to see much of, or participate, with your sons. These are choices you have made consistently that demonstrate beyond all doubt that other things are more important to you than your kids. Until you can change this reality, you will never build a relationship with your sons.
Now let's get the ground rules straight. If over the next few years you are even one day late or one dollar short in meeting your obligation to David, we will have your pathetic and overweight ass back in front of a judge so fast you won't have the opportunity to get your puny balls back from your wife before you're thrown in jail. This is not a threat, I am merely explaining the actions that will be taken if you fail to live up to your agreement. You have been held in contempt on two occasions (how do you like paying all those legal fees, loser?) The next time there will be no negotiation and no deal. You can tell your emotional sob story and we will present our fact-based evidence and the judge will decide.
As long as you behave responsibly, this is the last you will hear from me. With that said, unless you would like to meet to discuss your relationship with your sons, I now admonish you, your wife, family and friends not to contact me. I have already spent more of my valuable time on this than you are worth.
Have a nice life, but you won't,
Andy
My step children are now ADULTS and they still continue to harass us! Please help us.From: andrew.e.conaway@accenture.com
Subject: RE: Hawaii portal
Date: June 10, 2012 7:35:50 PM EDT
To: gdfetters100@me.com
Glenn, et al:
You admonished Deb not to contact you again but you didn't say anything about me. I just read through the email train and I am, as usual, amazed at your histrionic behavior. I'm not trying to be insulting, your behavior is genuinely histrionic. Deb's initial email to you was to tell you to stop trying to access the UH portal with David's password. It was terribly inconvenient to have to reset it. There are two points here. The first is that, since you declined to provide any financial data to support your son, I had to provide mine. Since you are in no way, shape or form allowed access to my personal information, we did not want to take the chance that you may somehow gain access to this highly personal and privileged data. This was by no means an attack on you, an attempt to limit your access to your son or a show of "craziness", merely Deb's attempt to protect me. The second point is that none of us are permitted to use David's user ID or password to access any website whether it is the UH or the federal financial aid website. It's that simple. This is a situation of your own making with appropriate consequences. I'm sorry you failed to understand this as you resorted to drama, insults and a rather interesting rant decrying your obligation to pay child support to support your son. Deb has provided you with all the information necessary and numerous other options to pay your obligation to UH. You simply don't need access to the portal.
So now, if you are done insulting my wife and ranting about your obligations and lack of relationship with your sons, it's now my turn .......
Glenn Fetters, from the bottom of my heart, I thank you for the opportunity you have given me to raise your sons. At every turn, I have treated them as my own and raised them to have a sense of loyalty, respect, open-mindedness, diligence, perseverance, fairness, courage, morality and love. Under my guidance and example they have grown from very young boys to fine young men. The results speak for themselves. You mentioned, yet again, parental alienation. I believe you tried that in court and not even the judge wanted to hear it. Your sons were raised to love and respect you but you were never able to grasp this simple truth and the complexities of the adolescent mind. Deb tried to help and both encouraged them to be with you and encouraged you to be with them but you preferred not to. In your simple, plebian brain you saw this as Deb's attempt to "control" you. These are the documented facts and they are not disputable. You have tried in the past and failed. Everything Deb has done has been for the benefit of the boys and she always understood that having a good relationship with you was to their benefit. You and your emotionally unstable wife have been the only roadblocks in your way. I offered on two occasions years ago to meet with you over a beer to discuss how we could work together to raise your sons. You, sadly but predictably, declined. Since I know your sons better than you do, I offer again to meet with you to give you what might be a useful point of view of how to now rebuild your relationship with your boys. I am telling you now, in all honesty and sincerity, that you will not be successful on your own. Time is not on your side as you claim and you will not persevere. This is due to the simple fact that you are too selfish and emotionally incompetent to realize that any alienation of your sons is your doing and not Deb's. The only impediment larger than you yourself is your wife. Your sons themselves have tried to explain this to you but, again predictably, you refused to listen. It is not within you to accept responsibility. You are your own worst enemy and are the one that should be on medication. Until you admit this simple truth you will fail miserably. Even now, as you read this, you are cursing me and will accept no responsibility for your situation. Ultimately, you will have brief periods where you will feel your relationship is improving with your sons but ultimately you, or your wife, will sabotage it and seek to blame somebody else. Years from now you will die frustrated, bitter and alone and the fault is completely, totally and demonstrably yours. Like an alcoholic, no recovery is responsible until you admit your failings. But then you should know about that too, shouldn't you. You also know, deep down, that your wife, Amy, stands between you and your boys. You will deny it, of course, but you can't hide the truth forever. I believe she is emotionally classifiable as a "borderline" so she profits emotionally from keeping you separated. You are far better off without her. You should speak to your sons about their feelings for her and what has motivated them but I'm sure she won't allow it.
Allow me to provide an illustration. One of the proudest moments of my life was pinning Airborne wings on Robby last summer. When I became a paratrooper, my father pinned his wings on me. He had engraved our names and class dates on the back of the wings that he had been presented so many years before. My nephew graduated Airborne School a few years ago and went on to distinguished service with the 82d Airborne Division in Iraq and Afghanistan. I added his name and date to the wings when I pinned them on him. Unfortunately, when Robby graduated, I couldn't just take the wings back from my nephew. Further, the wings made today are stamped from a pewter/silver allow which cannot be engraved. I solved the problem by having a regulation set of Airborne wings cast in solid silver and then engraved with my father's, mine and Robby's names and dates on the back (there is room for future generations to be added as well). I was certainly pleased to see your father at the graduation ceremony. Robby was happy to see him standing next to me as I pinned his wings on him during the portion of the ceremony devoted to legacy paratroopers. Robby is officially third-generation. He is part of a fraternity of blood, sweat, courage and devotion to duty that those outside of the military will never understand. Robby invited you to come but you didn't. Your father did and that was good, but it was no substitute for you. This was one of those once-in-a-lifetime opportunities that would allow you to start the rebuilding process and you missed it. I'm sure you had an excuse, as you always have. You had the opportunity to live close to your sons when you moved to Atlanta ten years ago, but you chose the north side of town for the social life. It then became too inconvenient for you to travel to the south side of town to see much of, or participate, with your sons. These are choices you have made consistently that demonstrate beyond all doubt that other things are more important to you than your kids. Until you can change this reality, you will never build a relationship with your sons.
Now let's get the ground rules straight. If over the next few years you are even one day late or one dollar short in meeting your obligation to David, we will have your pathetic and overweight ass back in front of a judge so fast you won't have the opportunity to get your puny balls back from your wife before you're thrown in jail. This is not a threat, I am merely explaining the actions that will be taken if you fail to live up to your agreement. You have been held in contempt on two occasions (how do you like paying all those legal fees, loser?) The next time there will be no negotiation and no deal. You can tell your emotional sob story and we will present our fact-based evidence and the judge will decide.
As long as you behave responsibly, this is the last you will hear from me. With that said, unless you would like to meet to discuss your relationship with your sons, I now admonish you, your wife, family and friends not to contact me. I have already spent more of my valuable time on this than you are worth.
Have a nice life, but you won't,
Andy
